I
recently read Mark Manson’s four stages of life piece. It was definitely an
eye-opener. Often one gets into discussions with friends, colleagues and
acquaintances on many a journey that revolves around the question of ‘purpose
of life’. That piece helped me understand what I have perhaps always known. It
is the legacy one leaves back and seldom is it driven my intelligence or pros
and cons but rather passion decides the course of one’s legacy. One could say that our instincts are the actual masters in our decisions although most claim to base it on facts. Something that was reinstated in my beliefs after the latest episode 'The Jury Room' of the tv series by TVF.
In many an occasion we react to situations based on our instincts or should I say emotions. We have always been told to treat others the way we would like to be treated. One seldom recollects this piece of advice before responding especially under stress when it is vital. But my thoughts on this recently contradicted my intuition. Shouldn’t you treat someone the way they wish to be treated rather than how you would like to be handled. We all gain experiences and accumulate perceptions regarding various aspects in our life and these hardly match with the other person in a conversation. So it becomes increasingly arduous to conceal these prejudices, before expressing oneself. Even if we succeed that, the next task is to get a grasp over the other’s notions within the short span of conversation. Then comes the herculean task of doing these two thoughtfully and not completely emotionally. It might sound like advising ruthless pragmatism but even pragmatism involves emotions. Like someone retorted “Courage is nothing but dispelling fear” rising above the heat of the moment by understanding the feelings and preconceived ideas of the other person before reacting to a situation requires emotional intelligence or in simpler terms - presence of mind.
Of the three hurdles, two-not letting emotions prevail on our actions and discerning the notions of the other with respect to the topic of discussion-are accomplishable whereas when it comes to presumptions, it is not a walk in the park.For, of the former two, one is a control on self and the other is an experience gained in the course of interaction which can be fathomed. On the contrary, opinions are built over the years and are built upon the circumstances one has been through. Again, not all can be experts on all traits. So unless one gets off on the wrong foot, two out of three should help maintain the status quo in any plight.
In many an occasion we react to situations based on our instincts or should I say emotions. We have always been told to treat others the way we would like to be treated. One seldom recollects this piece of advice before responding especially under stress when it is vital. But my thoughts on this recently contradicted my intuition. Shouldn’t you treat someone the way they wish to be treated rather than how you would like to be handled. We all gain experiences and accumulate perceptions regarding various aspects in our life and these hardly match with the other person in a conversation. So it becomes increasingly arduous to conceal these prejudices, before expressing oneself. Even if we succeed that, the next task is to get a grasp over the other’s notions within the short span of conversation. Then comes the herculean task of doing these two thoughtfully and not completely emotionally. It might sound like advising ruthless pragmatism but even pragmatism involves emotions. Like someone retorted “Courage is nothing but dispelling fear” rising above the heat of the moment by understanding the feelings and preconceived ideas of the other person before reacting to a situation requires emotional intelligence or in simpler terms - presence of mind.
Of the three hurdles, two-not letting emotions prevail on our actions and discerning the notions of the other with respect to the topic of discussion-are accomplishable whereas when it comes to presumptions, it is not a walk in the park.For, of the former two, one is a control on self and the other is an experience gained in the course of interaction which can be fathomed. On the contrary, opinions are built over the years and are built upon the circumstances one has been through. Again, not all can be experts on all traits. So unless one gets off on the wrong foot, two out of three should help maintain the status quo in any plight.
